When your family put you down

Hey guys 

Recently my parents have made me feel like utter crap I thought maybe you guys could relate therefore I'm giving myself the courage to write this 

In a recent argument with my mum she said that I do f* all for her and never thank her for what she does 

In another argument with my dad he told me when I was 17 I would not be getting a car or my driving lessons being paid ( my sister just got her first car as she is now 17 and old enough to drive ) 

My dad also said that when I was 18 I would have to leave home and next time we argue I will be the one to leave even if I'm not 18 

These argument happen with my family all the time to often 

They expect me to be top of every class have a good paying job and respect them 

Which is just not possible 

Also if someone doesn't respect you then never respect them they don't deserve anything from you 

If I'm being honest I only have a sister and friends to support me now 

I was never close with my family 

We aren't even family anymore 

And to be honest I wouldn't mind leaving home at 18 even sooner 

It's just the fact I was told to and that no one in this household shows any kindness or respect for me 

I have not been able to see the board in school properly since before spring/ester break I told my mum to make an appointment to get my eyes tested 

Nearly 3 months later and my sister needed and appointment so she could have up to date details for her driving license so my mum made one the day she found out she would need to put she wore glasses on her license 

It took my mum 3 month to make me and appointment and it was only cause my sister needed one I'm not against my sister she's the only one I get on with 

But you know it's annoying 

I know some of you guys will have the same problems and I hope that you do what's best for you 

Also stays strong it's clique but showing pain makes people think your weak when I k is everyone of you are strong enough to get threw your problems 

If things get seriously bad do something don't live a life where you are it happy 

If it's not okay it's not the end when it's the end everything will be okay 

Help yourself 

Bye guys x. 

I couldn't think of a title

Hey guys 

My last blog post was over a month ago and in that time I have been bombarded with homework and tests but also found out a lot and therefore experienced new things 

I recently thought I would start turning my blog into a diary to look back on 

But

I ghought u guys don't want to read about my everyday life 

Yet also I don't know how I feel about writing down my entire life to be published online 

I need new direction with my blog 

For this to happen I need to make blog post that make me feel I'm doin good instead of feeling like this is another piece of homework which it does right now 

I want to write about things that matter but I also want to write short story's and diys 

So this is what I think I'm going to do 

For now I'm going to try once a week 

Without a schedule 

So like Monday one week Thursday the next 

This isn't like a job or homework 

It's just a fun read for you and a memory to look back on for me 

That's it for today 

Hopefully I will upload more frequently 

                                                                   Bye guys.

( also I've got a proper money paying job now so I can finally buy more stuff to blog about and just do more exciting things that I can also blog) 

Quick question; do you guys have a May Day event in your towns?

Let me know in the comments 

Bye again. 

Saying goodbye (part 2)

Hey guys 

So um yeah it's been like 3 weeks since I've actually posted a blog post 

I don't have any excuses but the reasons why I haven't posted are pretty self explanatory and if your a good person you will understand why 

these last few weeks a lot has happened 

And my next upload was actually going to be on this topic any way so now I have new feelings and more recent experiences to add 

If you remember when I was explaing what I'm doing with these goodbye uploads I said that the inspiration come when a friend left and that I was thinking and I realised that saying goodbye has been a relatively regular thing for me 

I also said that upload would be about friendship and this one family 

You may also remember I said my granda wasn't doing to great ( I think I mentioned this I'm not 100% sure but if I didn't here it is now) 

After that he actually got better and I was noticing when I visited him ( in hospital) he was improving 

On the last week of school ( the last Tuesday before Easter break) my dad granny and my dads 2 sisters ( my aunties) were called into the hospital because my granda had taken a turn for the worst 

They left at around 9am on Tuesday morning then never got home till around 10:30 one of my aunties stayed you know so my granda wasn't alone 

What I'm trying to say is at 0:38 on Wednesday morning my granda died 

(My granny asked me to read out the death certificate to her since she couldn't find her glasses and I'm sure this was the time written) 

That morning it snowed I see it as my granda marking his last day alive on earth 

I spent a lot of my time at my granny's from the Friday (first day of Easter break) to now 

The whole time I've been thinking: 

- that this is not right 

- I need to see him once more 

- why now 

- one last hug ? Please 

It only hut me the day of the funeral (last Thursday) that he's actually gone and I'm never going to see him again that he's not in pain any more 

When I was at the funeral all I was thinking was: 

- he so close ( I was second row ( first was my dad aunties and granny))  I'm only a few meters away 

- I just want to see him 

- this is the closest I'm going to get 

- he's not going to see me live my dreams 

Now I'm coming to the realisation that I'm going to be okay everything is my granda is gone but he's still here in spirt he's going to watch over me see me succeed 

The thing I just don't like is since my granda died in a hospital he was laying in the mortery ( think that's how you spell it) 

( mortery translates as mort= death in Latin I think so death-ery) 

And he was laying in one of those movie style like metal drawers you pull out ( according to my parents) 

That scares me that he was just with other bodies 

Also my granda had been threw a number of operations ( leaving non healed scars) he also had a habit of pulling out drips ( the needles put in your skin used to pump fluids in) therefore he had lots of bruises 

All I can think now is he never god the chicken fillets he always asked for 

I guess it was just his time to go and I can't change that no one can 

Basicly I said at the start of this upload that I have had experience with losing people 

I have 

Lots of years ago I think 2007 I lost my great-uncle ( but I was to young to go to the funeral) 

in  2010 I lost my mums dad my granda 

In 2011 I lost my cousin ( he wasn't young he was much older the stereotype of cousin is always your but he wasn't 

In 2012 I lost my great-uncle 

In 2013 I lost my mums mum my granny 

And 

In 2015 I lost my dads dad my granda 

Each time it's different you remember different things and it all becomes such a whirlwind of memories and emotion 

But if you are going threw this remember to stay strong for other family don't annoy them be calm and ask I a nice Manor about the topic 

You may be hurting but everyone else is too

Let your feeling do what they want to do 

Also when you are at a funeral if you want to cry then cry 

I always thought people would judge me 

Truth is they are thinking the same 

The wait before it actually starts I find the worst because your sitting absolutely silent in a world of your own with all these emotions flying round 

Another thing if you want to talk about it and tell your friends for some support then do so your mind is confused and talking can help 

I personally don't like talking bout it 

For my granny and great uncles I remember the funerals were on school days and I had to tell people, and people asked where I was 

But this time with my granda I haven't told a sole I mentioned it on my fan account on Twitter but that's it none of my friends no yet 

They probably will after this though

If you guys are going threw this feel free to talk when I say I know how you feel I honestly know more than you think this time 

Please if you want to talk just leave a comment 

Also if people are being inconsiderate idiots about your situation don't take any thing they say 

Trust me they don't know a thing and if they are being mean at a time like this don't talk to them mute them completely they don't even deserve a look from you 

Sorry about such a wait and dramatic upload but yeah 

I was gonna do a coachella outfit idea blog post 2 weeks ago but obviously I didn't and now coachella is practically over so next week I'm gonna do a festivals outfit ideas instead 

( by the way coachella is a festival in California is massive and so many celebrities go it's open to anyone and everyone it's just an amazing experience all round ) and no I did not go this year but I will go one year 

If you want to say anything on this topic please leave a response in the comment section below but no hate guys 

Also yes this is extremely hard to upload putting a story about my grandmas death but I wanna reach out and help people and let them know they are not alone 

I will see you all next week 

                                                                  Bye guys 

 

Secrets

Hey guys 

I know I haven't written a post in like 2/3 weeks and I'm so sorry for that 

I know I shouldn't have any excuses 

But

A lot has been going on 

Also it's taken me ages to figure out how to write this blog post 

That's because I was told some pretty big secrets by others and I also told pretty big secrets to others  

Also one of my guy friends reads my blog and I don't want to tell him the secrets since there not all mine and I don't have the right to tell him 

So to get into this post 

A while ago one of my best friends (let's call her konradmam ( because me and my friends have a private joke about to do with her name)) 

Well konradmam came out and said she was bisexual

To start with I didn't know what I thought I was confused shocked and just wanted to be there for her by the way I accept her I'm not going to judge someone cause of their sexuality it doesn't matter to me 

Around that time my bestfriend (lets call her OnFleek cause why not ) 

So OnFleek said something that made me think but i was like whatever 

Lately me and and konradmam were bored so went into town together she freaked out about something for a minute and I was like what tell me are you okay 

Basicly she told me something about OnFleek that I didn't know and me and her are bestfriends what she told me was lets just say was overwhelming even though I sort of expected it 

I never thought it would be true 

I wanted to support OnFleek as much as I could so I was asking her if she had anything she wanted to tell me and that she could trust me 

I later just said it straight that I knew 

That whole day I was with konradmam the morning we were in town then we went home for like 2 hours then later we had this event to do with girlguiding ( where we just served teas coffee and biscuits to traditional music players at a concert) 

So therefore we got to talk about it a lot the chats got really deep at one point like we were talking about how we felt and everything now konradmam is one of my closer friends 

When OnFleek told konradmam that I had confronted her konradmam got a bit mad but I just laughed it off all the time probably not appropriate but I wasn't gonna sit their and argue or take what she was saying to heart 

We finally all started to talk properly about it and me and OnFleek had a really good conversation and she just told me straight whilst I herd her out she was like I really do trust you more than anyone but I didn't know how to approach it 

I was like I completely understand even though I felt a bit betrayed 

Earlier this week Konradmam told me something else that OnFleek said and this shocked me even more but made me happy at the same time  

But this I haven't confronted OnFleek about it just doesn't feel right even though konradmam told me to 

Basicly the point of this is some secrets should be discussed and confronted head on but others should be left to lay low 

Some times getting your head round things like this is super hard and to be honest it still confuses me and always will but that's the best part 

Also before I end this 

Do not make any assumptions about OnFleek 

My guy friend if your reading this do not talk to OnFleek or Konradmam about this and please don't. Make any assumptions with thank you 

Thanks for reading guys 

Next week is part.2 in my saying goodbye series 

So stay tuned for that 

                                                                      Bye guysxxx!!! 

Smart water review (not sponsored)

Hey guys 

Tuesday upload woops ( sorry I'm a bit late) 

I was thinking of doing the goodbye series part 2 but then I thought you might want a happier blog post 

also since I haven't done a review in a while 

I thought I would review smart water 

So basicly I've herd a few people say how it's tastes really nice and is much better for you and I was just like its just basic water 

As I saw more and more people drinking it I was like is it really that good 

When I went shopping I was like why not 

It was only around 60p per bottle ( 600ml ) or 80p ( 850ml) (prices taken from Asda.com/groceries) 

As you can see I got the 600ml but I wish I had got the 850ml 

As its actually really good 

You wouldn't think it but it tastes better than average tap water and other bottled waters 

It tastes so clean and pure 

They vapour distil it giving it that pure 'crisp'  taste 

This inspiration came from they way clouds work with water cycles

I think this is a very clever way as it gives you healthy (as if to say) water that is also a really good price 

Since drinking this my skin seems to be getting clearer 

Don't get me wrong I always drink water but now I only have a couple spots left 

As you drink it you also feel the difference 

This is not a bad nor good thing but I could drink so much of it I drank it all within 15 min 

( I don't know if this was due to the water or not but yesterday morning u woke up feeling really motivated and refreshed ) 

It is like better than water 

The package also looks very attractive and modern

Which would therefore catch someone's eye 

Not only is is it made and bottled in Great Britain 

But the bottle itself is made of up to 30% of plants and is 100% recyclable 

I do re come d you try it as its a good price I suggest you just try it if it's not making a difference to you and taste the exact same as tap water don't worry we all see things differently 

By the way this was not sponsored ( if you were wondering) 

Thanks for reading 

                                                              Bye guysxxx!!! 

Saying goodbye part 1

Hey guys 

Yes it's a Monday and I am posting this I have started to want to relax more on Sunday's and get into the work way of things on Mondays so since I am getting on and doing stuff I died to do this blog post

Also I want to do a few parts to this section seeing it from different angles

Recently one of my guy friends who I have know since I was around 3 or 4 moved away 

The school I go to has recently got a new head master (principle) and he has decide to have far less creative and expressive subject and focus on academic ones

Which means many of the pupils are getting really annoyed since they can't study the subjects they need to get certain qualifications

This friend has always been a more outgoing creative guy and since he was not allowed to study the subjects he needed he decide to ,I've to a different school 

Which ment the rest of his friends ( including me) had to say goodbye  

When we were around 3 or 4 me and him both did highland dancing ( form of Scottish dance) 

We both went to different primary schools ( elementary) So we never kept talking

A few years later when we were around 7 (I think) we both got piano lessons from the same teacher 

After that we had a few school events at the sam time 

But when we moved up to secondary school one of my bestfriends ( let's call her bands) became really good friends with him 

Therefore since I am friends with her me and him also became friends ( not extremely close but I could be weird around him and have a decent conversation) 

We also sis the school show together so spoke a lot 

Even now we still speak since we have many groupchats

Lately we have all been to his house a few times saying goodbye 

I feel really bad for bands because him and her were really close and now he's just gone 

Saying goodbye to friends is so hard ( flashback to my blog post about how I had fallen out with Lauren) 

But it's something you have to do 

my guy friend ( let's call him minion) 

Made the right decision if he was wanting to have a worth while career for himself 

And me and Lauren fell out so we could move on do something different make more memories 

Saying goodbye can be so hard feeling like your never gonna see or speak to someone again but It has to be done 

It can sometimes feel so hard but it life and life goes on so you should to 

Thank you for reading 

Have a good day or night wherever you live 

Next week might be more goodbye talks or it might be something more uplifting 

         

                                                                Bye guysxxx!!! 

Moving on

Hey guys 

First of all massive apology 

Yes I skipped a week of writing a post I decided not to write it on the Sunday and that I would write it on the Monday truth is last week was one of the busiest weeks ever so it never got writen 

But 

I have quite a few ideas in my mind for upcoming blog posts which I hope you will like

Anyway this past week I have been obsessed with the song 'Miss Movin On' by Fifth Harmony 

( especially Aubrey millers cover of it) 

And well it got me thinking I hate change but it has to happen 

I really want to make so many changes in my life 

But 

Change for me is so scary 

I have decide I'm not going to let everyone around me change and me stay in this same boring old faze

Whe I was growing up me and my family always drove around the country together during school breaks

Now we don't we have grown apart and that's one change I didn't mind

I don't know why but I don't mind drifting away from my parents ( I don't want to drift away from mys sister though we are actually quite close) 

I could legit leave this country tomorrow and only miss a few people 

I want to make a plan now so that I can make my life change 

I've been looking at apartments in Los Angeles, California I know I'm only 15(this year)  and can't move out for another year 

But for ages now I have wanted to to LA and I have decide that i am 100% going in 2018 without a doubt 

It's my biggest dream no one is going to stop me achive it 

When I'm out there I'm going to look at apartments if I like them enough I will get one

I obviously want to go to university if I can't get into one in America I will come back home complete the courses I want but in a university far from my parents 

Then move out to LA once I graduate 

I don't want to stay this unhappy with life forever I'm going to move on to where I want to be in life 

I recommend you should to 

as I mentioned earlier Aubrey millers cover of Miss Movin On inspired me a lot 

During the video it shows her going from being a ballerina to Movin on to dance more of a hip hop on the streets emotional dance style 

Showing that she didn't want to continue to do ballet any more she wanted to express herself 

With me I don't want to live in this one boring place anymore I want to move somewhere completely different start a new adventure where no one knows me, my personality or my story 

Movin on form one thing to another can be scary but when it's not you know it's right 

Be the change you want to see 

Don't let others influence you

If it's what u want to do then go for it 

In the comments let me know if you are gonna make a change or if you already have?

Tell me you perspective on change?

If you want to move on how ?

I'm here to listen so let's communicate

Thank you for reading 

Another post next Sunday 

                                                                 Bye guysxxx!!!

Chin up buttercup

Hey guys 

So last Friday (Friday the 30th) i went to the gym with my friends that I talked about in my last post because we are doing like a loose weight get healthy thing 

So we left class at the end of the school day all met in the social centre got our bags and started to walk 

The session started at 4mthen ended at 5 and we got there around 4:05 

We walked in and there was no one at the desk so we rang the bell and waited 

A few seconds later a boy from our school comes out of the door of the gym 

So one of my friends asked him do you know where the guys is 

He looked at us then looked away with a weird I'm about to laugh sort of grin on his face 

He turned back and said I don't know but are you going to the gym 

We were like yeah 

He laughed a bit then said oh 

Just then another boy from our school came out the gym widened his eyes turned back laughed and walked back into the gym 

He first boy from our school went back to the gym door and said well the gym is really full but you can check the office upstairs for the guy 

We were like oh well we will go to the office 

2 of my friends went to the office whilst me and 2 other stayed at the entrance 

Whilst they were gone we were listening to the 2 boys in the gym ( the door was left open) and they were basicly just laughing at us and talking bout us 

One of my friends that stayed at the entrance has social anxiety it was getting to the point where she was panicking she was almost pacing around and wanted to leave 

Being as insecure as we are and having boys laugh at us just made us break basicly 

When my other 2 friends got back  with a guy I immediately said we have to leave this is so embarrassing 

My friend was like oh yeah i know right 

The guy went behind the desk and my friend said I don't think we can do this today as the boys threw there said it was packed and we think we might wait till another day 

He said okay

Then we asked what other day can we come 

He told us and we left to go to a local park 

We stayed at the park worrying and arguing during our conversations one of my fried s that went to get the guy said when she came down the stairs she looked in the gym and saw there was 3 boys in our year an an older woman 

we later realised our parents were gonna come to pick us up any time soon

We texted our parents where we were and slowly left the park 

I just told my mum the place was full so we couldn't go 

I was not going to tell her boys made us insecure and laughed 

Basicly this whole week end I have felt horrible 

These boys laugh at us at schoo for being the way we r now they laugh at us for trying to change that 

I made me so angry and emotional 

I was finally making a difference in my life then it was blown to shreds 

We hae been trying to cheer each other up but for me it's not working 

Writing on this blog does tho 

Tommorow we are thinking of going back to the gym 

This time we are gonna 

- keep our heads held high ( hence the chin up buttercup title ) 

- not care about them 

Because 

Those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind 

We are doing this to make us happy and so we will 

It's okay not to be okay but just remember one day you will be okay 

This is gonna get a bit forceful if yah know what I mean but the next sent an e is gonna have swear word 

If they do sh*t to you then they don't mean sh*t to you 

If they care bout you care bout them 

If they don't care bout you don't care bout them 

They just don't understand your story what you've been threw 

Thanks for reading guys 

If you have any stories or experiences of you own please leave them in the comments below 

                                                                Bye guysxxx!!!

Time for a lifestyle change

Hey guys 

Sorry this is so late I have have been doing homework for so long now and yeah but no excuses basicly I have had no motivation 

But this will change 

So today is again a more serious blog post I kinda got a bit of inspiration from what I have just recently started doing

Basically the past few years everyone and everything around me has been changing but I've stayed the same 

I feel like it's time for me to change my life for the better 

As you many or may not know I am not the skinniest of girls and to be honest I don't want to be super skinny I just want to loose enough weight to make me happy ( yes to make myself happy I am going to have to loose a lot but it's worth it) 

At the start of this year I never made any New Years resolutions because I know they never come true and are just pointless 

But 

Recently me and my friends have been talking a lot about getting healthier we were all talking about well to be honest I don't know how it started but 

We got on to the subject and now we are in this for the long haul 

So we basically started another group chat with just us 5 girls and together we are gonna make a change with each other's help and support 

( btw in this screenshot ignore the group chat images yeah we do have a lime as the header for one ) 

I feel like I could maybe do this on my own as I have done before but maybe doing this with others will be better 

I always try hard to be healthy and excersise but it always slowly pulls me down and after a few month I end up healthier but unhappy 

This time we are going to pull each other up and go around this in a good way 

We are all determined to do this

Things to help you be healthy: 

- drink lots of water ( it's good for the skin and system) 

- eat healthy cut out snacks ( to an extent that's good for you ) 

- only eat when your hungry if your not hungry don't eat 

- do regular excersise 

Starting off is so hard I didn't even know my local area had a gym 

Also being an Internet kid means you procrastinate a lot ( I don't know the menacing but it is basicly lazing around doing absolutely nothing but at the same time doing s lot that does not in use a lot of movement at all ) 

I normally eat just whenever but now unless my stomach rumbles or feels empty I am not eating 

Also am I the only one that hates when you eat so much and have a sore belly ' food baby' well think of that same feeling before you go to eat then think nope I'm gonna feel sick let's not eat 

Motivation is soe thing I have none of  it I know I am strong enough

Just set yourself goals 

Easy goal that get harder 

The more you complete the easier it all becomes 

I know everyone has the strength to do something like this 

So make it happen 

 

If you want more advice please feel free to comment below 

Thanks 

  

                                                          Bye guysxxx!!!

Family worries

Hey guys 

Again today is another more heart felt blog post 

Quick appologie I think I might upload on Monday nights now as on Sunday night I am always so rushed for school so bare with me till I get a schedule sorted thank you 

Lately my granda has been going in and out of hospital and it has resulted in him getting a pacemaker in his chest 

But this is not the first time I have had relatives in hospital my mums mum and dad went in and out of hospital practically every year for many years before they died my great uncle was also stuck in hospital with cancer with did result in death and my cousin also died whilst in hospital so by now I am pretty used to 

Family problems and realities being ill 

Recently i have been thinking you guys probably have life issues as well so I would love to give you some advice 

Also if you do have any family problems please feel free to leave them in the comments I would love to try and help you guys as much as I can because when you annonomassly speak out it helps 

Basicly what I did threw out this time was

I stayed as happy as I could because your family don't want to see you sad 

I smiled because  smiling makes other people smile and if you smile you immediately feel better 

I went and visited as much as I could : I know seeing family in hospital is heart breaking but they want to see you 

Also I know hospitals are scary and horrible places personally I don't like to touch or use anything I just like to stand and speak I just hate the thought that there might be germs ( just let me puke one min) 

Also be helpful at home your family will be feeling pretty bad so you gotta help them out 

don't hide away from the fact that your family member may die just make sure there last memories are good and that you are there with them because that's what they want 

Support 

Kindness 

️Happiness 

Loyalty 

Smiles 

And fellow ship

Are things you need to show 

Thank you guys for reading again if you have any worries of your own please leave them below 

                                                                 Bye guysxxx!!!

 

Friendship

Hey guys 

If your wondering why I re-published my 'About me' blog post it was because I needed to change it and one of the changes should of been made ages ago but I don't know I just didn't want to 

And today I am going to explain why by the means of friendship 

Basicly a few moths ago just before Halloween last year me and my bestfriend at that time (Lauren you may remember her) fell out 

She took a day off school and I came home to loads of messages from her and she was saying how she felt invisible 

Me and my now bestfriend Keely were like what 

Because recently we had noticed Lauren was only talking about herself and we just couldn't get a word in 

Like imagine having a friend that only talked about her life her problems but you couldn't get a word in you were silenced 

Well when she confronted us about feeling invisible me and keely flipped we were like talking each other threw the hole thing sending screenshots and everything 

We couldn't believe what she was saying 

She said that we left her out we only spoke to each other and we were like yeah because we get on we have a lot in common ( I don't know if I have mentioned this but me and keely have been friends since we were like 3 but when we were like 6 keely moved away we lost touch but she moved back and me and her slowly started to talk again and we are back to our friendship) 

By the way I am not slagging Lauren of or anything like that I'm using it as an example and I don't want to make her feel bad 

Once the argument which lasted a couple days was over me and Lauren talked a little but the conversation was really blunt if you know what I mean but after that we just stopped talking 

Now we don't talk 

During that weekend me and keely grew so close we started off so angry an fas I have mentioned before my anger ends in tears and it did 

Me and keely practically broke down 

Even losing a bad friendship is hard 

Over that weekend I told keely some really deep things because it knew I could trust her 

Just to add me and Lauren had been friends for like wait 6 years jesus thats long and well I never told her anything cause I never felt I could trust her 

I don't have trust with anyone basicly only 2 people on this earth know deep things about me but neither of them know it all 

Also keely told me stuff that made me think so much like life is not okay life is pretty bad 

Me and keely ha dinky been friends for nearly a year at this point but I knew I could trust her which is so weird 

But yeah 

Basicly lately I have been thinking so much about this and me and Lauren's friendship wasn't that bad like I didn't feel like I could trust her but it wasn't that bad really 

At one point I was thinking so deep and I was like do I miss our friendship yeah I guess 

But then I was like wait I'm gonna be civil towards her but I'm not going to forgive or forget that week was so hard like I just didn't have a clue 

I was so done with life 

Now I'm like she made me so happy so mad I don't want to be near her I just can't like 

A friend was talking to her and Lauren was just talking about herself and then my friend caged the subject when Lauren paused and my friend talked about her life like Lauren did and I also have quite a few other friends in that class and apparently Lauren was not amused she didn't like it 

I see it as a lesson 1 to me she's not gonna change so I'm just gonna stay away 2 she needs to realise that's what she does to people but imagine my friend talking to her like that all the time 

I'm suprised me and keely actually stayed friends with her for so long 

Lauren if your reading which you might be let's leave it here we are completely different people we are never gonna get on 

Guys if you have any questions or stories of your own please leave them below I would love to help you 

Thanks for reading 

  

                                                          Bye guysxxx!!! 

2014 memories

A Hey guys 

I'm back again 

I just wanted to say

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

I hope this year is good for you 

 

And also disclaimer I had this blog post publishing on Sunday but it never published and I wanted to Add more today but then I realised it hadn't published so sorry if you thought I was slacking again  

Also half of this blog post is deleted and I can't find it anywhere like what so if I can't find it all you will have is the version with edited pictures I seriously don't know what going on but yeah and I can't write it again because I deleted the pictures and what I wrote before was pure blog gold ( not really but yeah)

But anyway 

I don't think I have ever mentioned this but this year I kept a jar and put memories and souvenirs into it of things that I have done 

So I thought I would look back on 2014 with you guys 

This is the jar I used and by the way the background is my bed cover and the cards I couldn't fit in the jar so yeah 

These are 2 Christmas cards from my friends Keely and Caitlin if you remember the DIY t-shirts I blogged about then you will understand why me and keely call each other b*tch 1 and b*tch 2 and also Caitlin wrote about how nash and hayes grier have nice faces then she said her favourite o2l members are Jc and Kian because she just recently started watching them 

So this one is a bit weird but me and keely wanted to collect all the Disney princess from kinder eggs because we love Disney we tried so many shops and when we finally got some we got Barbie instead so we were not happy 

So if you remember this is my shirt that me and keely made it turned out so bad but oh well and yes I did manage to fit it in the jar that's why it's so creased 

This is a picture I drew for a project I did with my school called the creative edge project where we worked with people to encourage more expressive and creative arts in schools and we all had to draw an instrument for our presentation so this is my rough copy of a guitar and yes it is supposed to be like ed sheerans because I love his album so much thinking out loud and photograph are such good songs 

So in 2014 I went threw a bars and melody stage if you don't know there a duo group and my friend Diane was also obsesed so she wrote out the lyrics for me because we were bored in class 

And I had to blur out her last name and my last name for privacy reasons even tho you already know my last name 

So for my duke of Edinburgh I have to volunteer some where so I volunteer at my local guirl guiding place which is brownies and this wa the first newsletter I got and I had to blur out some names of places for privacy again 

So this year I went to see the fault in our stars with my friends and this is my cinema ticket and my beds ticket that was one of the best movies I've seen so yeah and again I had to blur out the name of the cinema some codes and the bus company logo also the buses route 

So I had this crush at the beginning of the year and we were talking in class and he asked for a pen so I said help yourself so he went in my pencil case and found this piece of paper it was from a class that we needed to make a leaflet and I folded the pair wrong so I put the wrong folded one in my pencil cas and got another bit of paper but my crush thought it had like a private conversation on it and he was like can I look at it and I was like of course there's nothing on it but he unfolded it and drew something inappropriate and we both started laughing so yeah I will let you guess what it was 

And boy the way j don't actually like that boy anymore so I don't know why it's in my jar but I guess it was once a Memorie 

Loom bands omg I was obsesed as with the entire world but they soon got so annoying and defiantly should be left in 2014 

I went to visit this Scottish monument during the summer and here's the leaflet we got whilst we were there 

Also 

This is a picture I took of them and no I was not trying to take a picture of the mum and child they were in my way so I took a picture any way 

This year I took part in an global warming event called exodus at school and this was my timetable and I had to blur out teachers names for their privacy 

This is a bracelet I made for the anxiety day there was its called a panic button so people who have anxiety can look at and instead of being anxious they can feel calm 

This is a list of disorders I wrote out for the lines project where you draw lines of what disorders you have and I made this into a vine edit for the day that you had to draw the lines 

I also got this year the pointless book by alfie deyes and girl online by zoe sugg because they are both Youtubers and I want to support them 

At school I took part in the school show called hairspray and here's the programme and I had to blur out the school name and logo 

Also this year I got followed by the alfie deyes on Twitter 

Also my tweet got favourited by Joe sugg 

And of course I got 1,000 views on my blog 

Also this year I gained some internet friends which to be honest I could trust more than some of my current friends (no effence to my friends but yeah) 

So this year have made a number of Internet bestfriends that I have met threw fandoms so shoutout to 

Ivanna

Kenzie

Madi 

Karley 

Milica 

Faith

Claire 

Kayla 

Caitlyn 

For our amazing conversations and thank you for supporting  me and letting me support you you guys are awesome true friendships can actually come form people on the Internet and we have proved that thank you guys and one day we will break the distance because that day would be incredible 

Also and individual shoutout to ivanna, ivanna I couldn't ask for a better internet bestfriend that first Skype call is always a vivid memory that what 10 minutes of shock excitement and disbelief then a further what 2-3 hours of talking was amazing #California2018 let's make it happen 

And a quick shoutout to my school friends thank you for all the laughs, class banter loyalty and kindness 

And an individual shoutout to my best friend Keely thank you so much for this past year like seriously the stuff you have told me and the stuff I have told you seriously takes some trust thanks for understanding me and thank you for letting me help you threw hard times you are seriously a great friend

And if you are a Youtuber and your reading this my biggest thank you goes to you like seriously you have legit been there when I'm not feeling good just the click of a button away you guys have changed my life how long has it been now what I don't know like its probably like wait around 4 years now you Youtubers have the best job in the world I look up and respect you guys so much I will always support you and never forget or regret you 

The main thank you of that massive thank you goes to the o2l where do I start you guys  the 2 and a half years the channel has been alive have been amazing even before the channel was created your main channels were and stil, are incredible 

'Lemme tell ya bout 6 young fellas that really know how to get down'~charlie puth o2l song 

Basicly you guys have helped me so much to strangers it's hard to explain you guys are my life and even tho the channels gone o2l will live on forever threw our memories you guys mean the world to be and I'm glad your not quitting youtube for good 

Thank you to 

Kian Lawley 

sam Pottoroff 

Jc Caylen 

trevor Moran 

ricky Dillon 

Connor Franta

For making this year unreal thank you for making me happy when I watch youtpr videos and giving me confidence you guys mean the world to me I will forever support you I am more than proud of you 

from webcam videos to meeting each other to Ricardo Ricky's orange car to Ricardo leaving to the flat connor Rick and Jc shared to kiandrea to the first o2l house to 1 million to the tour to kiandrea breakup to your tattoos to jia to your coloured hairdo vidcon to 2 million to connor leaving to ricky and Trevor's ep's to jia breakup to the o2l channel ending to sams song to the new year party to the kian and Jc project and now nearly 3 million 

More amazing memories to come 

I will forever love an support you guys 

#o2lforever 

#ThanksToO2L

Wow this was a long post sorry you had to read this but yeah

(If your and o2ler sorry for making the ending so emotional and yeah it was super hard to write down every single memory without crying my eyes out but let's just think we should smile becaus it happened not cry because it's over) 

Thank you for all the views throughout the year 

I hope your 2014 was also super good and that your happy 

In 2015 things can only get better 

Also I am not going to give out my main Twitter account where I got favourited by Joe Sugg and followed by Alfie Deyes 

But 

I also have a fan account so feel free to follow me there @LifeOfASugglet 

Thank you 

                                                          Bye guysxxx!!!